It was surely odd that her thought should pick up that picture and recast it so vividly. “Well?” “You and all the rest of them are always lamenting that I do not marry. “But why, Lucy? Who is it 145 that you are trying to hide from? John?” Lucy closed her eyes in earnest. Oh, the scent of the flowers that day, the delicious quiet, the swallows that dived before us in the river. Was it that the struggle of things to survive produced as a sort of necessary byproduct these intense preferences and appreciations, or was it that some mystical outer thing, some great force, drove life beautyward, even in spite of expediency, regardless of survival value and all the manifest discretions of life? She went to Capes with that riddle and put it to him very carefully and clearly, and he talked well—he always talked at some length when she took a difficulty to him—and sent her to a various literature upon the markings of butterflies, the incomprehensible elaboration and splendor of birds of Paradise and hummingbirds’ plumes, the patterning of tigers, and a leopard’s spots. You may go back, Marthe. Will you find your destiny, I wonder, or will you go through life like so many others—a wanderer, knocking ever at empty doors, homeless to the last? Oh, if one could but find the way to your heart. ’ He grinned. She could now see to read; so she stirred the manuscript about until she came upon the first page. You will survive, mark my words. She wanted to stay where she was; but tears were dangerous; the more she wept, the weaker she would become defensively. ’ ‘I do not care any more about the portrait,’ Melusine said, opening the door to the attic corridor that gave off onto the row of little rooms that served as private cells for the senior nuns. He shivered and looked behind as he stepped into his hansom. “It seems so unfair,” she said, “to take all you offer me and give so little in return.
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